if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize