I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize