Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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