I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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