She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
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And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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