He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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