They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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