I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize