Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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