Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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