Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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