I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize