Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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