all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize