Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize