sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
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she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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