My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize