So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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