So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
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during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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