Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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