WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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