did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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