I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize