Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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