Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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