i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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