Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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