don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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