Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
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I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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