So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize