I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
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sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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