how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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