Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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