My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize