It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
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You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
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7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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