The maid of honor just puked.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
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Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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