Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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