Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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