Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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