I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize