YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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