I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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