I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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