theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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