Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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