would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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