just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize