my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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