Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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