Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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